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"[Am I overreacting] for breaking up with my boyfriend after he said my cat isn’t welcome if we move in together?"
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This is the right reaction to have. We understand that it hurts and that it's difficult. But it's entirely proper. This is a red line for you and for a lot of cat owners, if not all of them, and this man has been with you for over two years. If he had a problem, he should have said something about it after two weeks, if not two dates. It should not have gone on for two years if a core part of your life was a problem for him.
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We honestly can't think of many things worst than doing this to your cat actually. This home and your love and care are all that this cat knows. Giving your cat to a cat-sitter for a long vacation is difficult enough for the cat. Rehoming the cat is so, so much worse. We are honestly mostly upset with this never having been discussed beforehand. And that is mostly on him, but on you as well. If you saw that he had problems with your cat, if you even so much as slightly suspected, you should have brought it up and made him talk about it as well - the sooner the better. And yet, better late than moving in with him and the cat and possibly risking the cat's well-being.
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Boyfriend of 2 years blindsides his girlfriend by saying that her cat isn't welcome if they move in together, she dumps him then wonders if she shouldn't have: 'If he really loved me, he’d accept her too, right?'
Cats are amazing at exposing red flags about your partner. That is a fact. The way that your partner treats your cat, the way that the cat responds to your partner - it all matters, and it should all be paid attention to. If your partner calls you unhygienic for kissing your cat on its adorable little forehead and then refuses to touch you, that's a problem. If your partner doesn't attempt to befriend your cat or gain its trust at all, that's also a problem. If your partner is jealous of your cat and the affection that you have for it, to the point of asking you to rehome the cat, that's a much bigger problem.
But if your partner does what this boyfriend of two years did to his girlfriend, that might be the worst of it. The two of them had just started looking into moving in together when he dropped a whole ultimatum on his girlfriend: 'it's me or the cat'. That's what he said, in slightly different words. The cat, he told her out of nowhere, cannot come live with us if we are to live together. And she, thankfully, had the right reaction to this.
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